Dare I Question God?
It has been a long and emotional weekend in the HeIsSailing household. My wife and I attended the wedding of dear friends on Saturday. We attended the funeral of another dear friend on Sunday. Many of the same people were in attendence to both, and it was like witnessing the beginning of one life and the end of the other.
My wife and I, in reflecting on the emotional weekend, just finished a long conversation about our beliefs and faith. She also read my latest article “Why do you Love Jesus?”, and we shared a discussion with all that in perspective.
During today’s dedication for the repose of our friend’s soul, my mind was on God, and I had a minor revelation. I just got done ranting about a love for God in my last article, whereas today the love for God was evident in everyone that spoke during the eulogy. Am I just not letting faith unquestioningly take over, to love God unconditionally for the life and strength that he has given us? Am I being a selfish little boy when I dare question the infinite and the holy that is God? What do I do when I am faced with our human mortality, our tiny speck of life that we have been given on Earth? In one sense, I feel very petty asking questions like I have been. In another sense if I just “get over it already” as Jim Jordan would say, I could easily proclaim my love for God right now! But God will know that I am just trying to fool him, because frankly I feel no love for him at all despite God’s command that I do otherwise. So there is no point in doing that.
Know this for certain. I am not asking difficult questions about my Christian faith because I enjoy playing theological word games. I am not doing it because I enjoy bucking the trend and making family and friends upset. I am not doing it to masterbate my ego, or feed my intellectual curiosity, or to reveal to myself my “next big thing”. I am not the agenda driven Bible Gestapo out to show all you naive Christians how foolish you are compared to my superior debating skills. I am just a schmuck on the internet pondering infinity here.
One thing that I am becoming pretty convinced of since stepping out in the last few months is this: there is a lot more to God, whoever God is, than what our Bible and our Christian church creeds contain. I used to be shocked when some would dare claim that the Bible does not meet all of our needs. How could I have been so naive? But after much reading, contemplating and prayer, I am convinced of this.
I have never admitted anything this anti-Christian before, if that really is anti-Christian. I am not sure where to go from here.
March 19th, 2007 at 8:45 am
I’m apparently a comment fiend on your blog.
But I find that you write really insightful topics.
**there is a lot more to God, whoever God is, than what our Bible and our Christian church creeds contain.** I agree with this. I think God is a lot bigger than we can possibly imagine. If He’s infinite, all-knowing, all-powerful, spiritual … then we as finite creatures are never going to come close in this life to understanding that. We could get glimpses and emotional impressions … but how could an entity like that possibly be summed up in one book or a creed?
Especially when you take the Bible into account. Story after story shows that God is an active presence. He speaks. The creation story starts with God speaking everything into existence. Christ was the Word/Logos of God. Paul was converted because he heard Jesus. Thousands of people were converted in the Bible because they heard Jesus/Paul/Peter and saw the signs/miracles. It was such an active time.
So when did people start confining God to the Bible and only the Bible? God spoke through Jesus in such unorthodox ways. The Synoptic Bible alone is hugely political, and went against all the established religious creeds of that time — all due to the words and actions of one man.
Who’s to say that God isn’t as wordy today? And we’re simply not hearing Him because we’ve locked ourselves into a book.
March 19th, 2007 at 11:12 am
“there is a lot more to God, whoever God is, than what our Bible and our Christian church creeds contain.” (HeisSailing)
I agree and disagree. I agree since John sets down the idea of ‘the word in flesh’ - a sort of idea that John wants us to comprehend - that these ‘words we read’ need to find ‘real-world applications’ (and each person is in quite diverse situations). So in one sense I agree - our faith has to have ‘breath’ to be a real.
I disagree in one sense since going too far has caused a few weird interpretations that just blow the mind of the hearer - ex: Jonestown, Branch Dividians, some aspects of Mormonism, and Jehovah Witnesses. Going to far from the ideology within the bible can cause a variety of ideas which have no basis in Jesus (or what the disciples laid for us in the 1st century).
I think the biggest problem you face is indoctrination and interpretation. I see absoultely nothing wrong with asking all the questions you have asked. What needs to be furthered is the idea of becoming ‘un-indoctrinated’ (viewing the bible through a set of views that are not yours) and getting context into interpretation (seeing the passages as whole units within a chapter and book - and not as single passages in snippets made to construct a doctrine from amongst the whole bible).
Each person that comes to this faith has the same mandate to ’seek’ - problem is the church is into ‘cookie cutter’ faith and ‘easy to use’ methodologies (built into the structure) - which they made wholesale doctrines for and an ‘all answers already’ faith. But how does any of that help the maturing believer? It doesn’t - and it pushes away (since the structure deems any change as an affront to God himself). But I question the validity of some of the doctrines and faith statementts of churches - I rarely find one with ‘do good unto others’ as a central mandate (check for yourself - some basic biblical teachings are being taught like laws in churches when this is impossible for us to follow - exactly what Paul strived against).
Nothing worong with questions - but if you have to question - I would say drop all the ideas you once had about how to interpret this book and read every thing in context - chapter to chapter - book to book (each on being a single unit when first produced). Not only will your interpretations change of what you once thought you knew - but your character will also. It’s strange but I took all the over-spiritualizing out of the interpretations and read it as a ‘book’ and I now see a Jesus that speaks to us about the ‘now’. It’s not that heaven isn’t in the bible - but it’s the ‘hope’ - and that ‘hope’ starts right where your sitting.
March 19th, 2007 at 7:17 pm
Heather sez:
“Who’s to say that God isn’t as wordy today? And we’re simply not hearing Him because we’ve locked ourselves into a book. ”
No telling Heather. Mainline Protestant Christianity is all I know, so like I said, I really don’t know where to go from here. I think there is still a lot to learn from my faith, but also a lot to discover when our Bible is not forced to necessarily be inerrant where it should not be or necessarily interpreted thorugh our church creeds.
with that said, SocietyVs replied:
“I disagree in one sense since going too far has caused a few weird interpretations that just blow the mind of the hearer - ex: Jonestown, Branch Dividians, some aspects of Mormonism, and Jehovah Witnesses. Going to far from the ideology within the bible can cause a variety of ideas which have no basis in Jesus (or what the disciples laid for us in the 1st century).
You know, that is a valid concern. This really has been an emotional weekend in more ways than one, and one of those ways has been feeling the only faith that I have ever known slip away from me. It is a process, and I don’t feel a void because I am still learning and discovering what makes sense. At the same time, I don’t want an inevitable vacuum to be filled with the latest popular cult-leader that has something that sounds good for the moment. Maybe “cult-leader” is an overstatement, but I just need to remember to move slowly in my beliefs. God will honor that as long as I am honest with him. Well, I hope so anyway
March 19th, 2007 at 7:51 pm
Exactly!! God will honor you for being honest with Him! Read the Psalms. David didn’t just say niceties to God. He told God when he was angry with Him. He got frustrated. The Psalms are so beautiful because they are honest. Who hasn’t been angry with God? or confused? But we need to admit it to God and then be ready to hear His reply. I totally respect your questions, and your willingness to share them. God doesn’t want us to only say nice things to Him. He wants to be real to us, like we are with our best friend. One of my favorite descriptions is that we need to “bring God into the kitchen of our souls.” - to the place where we relax, and kick back over a cup of coffee and spill our guts to each other. (ok, this might make more sense to a stay-at-home mom, but you get the point - don’t leave God in the livingroom and only go in to make polite conversation, meanwhile the real you is retreating to the basement!) Hope this helps.
March 20th, 2007 at 12:55 pm
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