I’ve added your site to my favourites. I used to be a Christian and a very sincere one at one time. There always seemed to be something missing/not quite right however. I was always trying to rationalise why life as I experienced it didn’t tally with the idea that a personal God had a plan for your life and communicated directly to you. And always battling with doubts and sin. I don’t know what these people are on who say the Christian life is the most fulfilling, best possible life. It’s not, and I gradually came to accept that that’s what I thought. I think for me the crunch came when I decided to admit for the sake of argument that there was a possibility that I might be wrong. As soon as I did that, I could read atheist arguments with an open mind, because after all if Christianity is true it should be able to stand up to these arguments, and I need have no fear of them. I realised that atheist arguments made sense, and were more rational than Christian arguments. After a lot of soul searching I realised that the only reason I believed in God and Christianity was that I was brought up to believe it. If I had started out as an atheist and came across Christian beliefs now they would seem utterly foreign and ridiculous. So I decided to try and live life as if God didn’t exist. I’ve never looked back!! I remember the first day I did that I felt a new joy and excitement to life. And to this day I have more joy, peace, and love of life than I ever did when I was a Christian.

I’ve got a blog which I started writing during my doubting/crisis time (link above) – feel free to link to it from your site if you wish, I’ll do the same on mine.

I love reading about different peoples stories, especially those whose path is similar to mine. I have been lucky in keeping most of my Christian friends, who seem to like me for who I am, rather than what I believe. I do miss the company of like-minded people though, as we’re no longer like minded any more. I wish there was an atheist church out there!!!

I had just recently found your site and am sad you are leaving, but I am looking forward to reading you on A A.

I’ve been in the “deconversion” realm for a while and about two months ago I came to the same type of conclusions that you have and stopped going to church for good. It is a big relief not to go and be a fake anymore.

You did ask the million dollar question though, which was, “where do I go from here?” It is rough. You leave an entire community of people and I have discovered that once you make the break, you lose that community. I have been kind of shocked by how unloving some of my Christian friends have been to me in the name of “Christian love.” I find myself low on friends right now, but I’m excited for the future and am working on developing a new community. It’s kind of like being a man without a country though. We should have some sort of a convention, like the Trekkies do. I don’t know what we would call ourselves though.

I do wish you luck in all of your endeavors. I am sure you will do well.

Barbara

I look forward to reading your contributions on that other blog!!

Never ceases to amaze me to see practicing Christians can’t answer this question that, by their own slogans, is central to their entire “faith.” What are the claiming constitutes “sin”?

HIS: When I broke from Christian culture, I started intensely studying philosophy and comparative religion. There was actually a point at which I was able to go back to Christian mythology and draw a great deal of personal meaning from it, but only once I was able to recognize how it was merely another attempt to capture the human experience of the mystery of being limited as they all are by perspective and cultural context. Once I understood what mythology was all about, I discovered two amazing things: the amazing similarity of all attempts to answer the big, uncomfortable questions once I learned to read “religion” as mythology rather than history; and how profound a jewel is sitting in the middle of every great mythological system, largely unnoticed by each systems’ orthodox adherents.

Here is a summation of my current post-Christian conclusions that allow me to move in and out of pretty much any mythology: http://agnosticgnostic.blogspot.com/2007/05/angels-in-architecture.html

Sin is those choices we make that hurt others, or ourselves, or the universe. It’s when we say, this person or that person doesn’t matter to me, I just want ____. Fill in the blank with anything anyone could want, even good things like psychological health or stable personal finances, but more often than not it’s survival instincts gone awry.

I almost became a humanist atheist, simply because my church had no rationalists for me to talk with. For a time, I considered myself not to be a Christian, because I could not agree with the “social” definition that other Christians seemed hell-bent on enforcing.

But it all came together after God showed me that love was the missing factor that made the equation turn out right. Someone willing to give everything for me, personally, was something I had not imagined.

I know that right now, this comment is just about the last thing you want to see. But I do hope God helps you learn His heart. Knowledge of the character of God is the anchor of the soul. I hope to see you in Heaven, in a century or so.

I also encourage you to take a look at my blog, which expounds on a simple fractal ontology (philosophy) that has helped me to cope with the Real World in a way school did not prepare me for. Inspired by the structure of the Trinity, it can also be taken as a completely secular philosophy.

Caps and non caps intended.

phil

I have been through the same transformation, and so has my blog. I started my blog as a way of reaching out to others with the gospel. A year ago it became an outlet for me to explore the questions I had, and ultimately came to the same conclusion you have.

I write very little about my questions or my beliefs anymore, because I just simply got tired of arguing. I am not trying to de-convert anyone, and I don’t want people trying to reconvert me. I have found, unfortunately, that the majority of people out there just aren’t open minded enough or brave enough to allow themselves to intelligently question things. Once in a while I will post along those lines when something is weighing heavy on me, but it is rare.

So where do you go from here? Anywhere you want! I know, I have asked that a lot too. At first it felt like I had just jumped off the tallest cliff in the world, and was free falling without a parachute. It was terrifying. But before long I realized I wasn’t falling, I was flying. And it is incredible! Now that we aren’t consumed with destinations, we are free to really experience the journey. My advice is to sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.